All Apologies

I was wandering through the supermarket at lunchtime and just happened to see a copy of the Sunday Post, which had a story on its front page about Jermey Clarkson, following up the story earlier in the week about his remarks about Gordon Brown and his subsequent apology.

After the Sunday Post's article, we are now very much clearer on JC's position. He was sorry for mentioning the one-eyed thing, didn't have a problem with the Scots per se, but would 'never apologise for calling him an idiot'. You've got to laugh.

However, as usual, the press response to what was, after all, a joke was utterly hysterical. And the sight of George Foulkes on BBC News wondering why he wasn't being sacked were unedifying to say the least. Perhaps George, you might concetrate on something slightly more pressing than someone telling a joke in Australia you didn't like very much.

But of course, the tabloids have scented blood. Currently they're on the backs of anyone who utters a single word that is not utterly devoid of wit or personality. Remember, these are the same tabloids who routinely use their pages to spout some of the most malodorous effluvia. Clarkson, for example, hasn't said anything that any staff writer at the Sun or Daily Mail hasn't committed to paper previously. For the tabloids to then scream at the likes of Clarkson (or even Carol Thatcher) for being intemperate is quite hllariously hypocritical.

Besides which, if you look at what he said, you'll notice that JC called Gordon Brown a "one-eyed Scottish idiot". At this point it's probably easier to point out that the first two of these words are adjectives, describing the third word, which is a noun. And I don't think that there's any necessary correlation between adjectives one and two; the fact that he is monocular is not connected to him being either Scottish or an idiot. That is merely cheerful happenstance it seems.

And they didn't really mention what he said about James May and Frenchmen. Both of these things were also funny.

But there you go, that's the press for you. We deserve everything we get because enough of us still buy and consume their shit.

A Human Face

The BBC this morning carried a story about the Conservative Party's response to the online petition "Jeremy Clarkson for PM." Number 10 posted this response on youTube.

The Conservatives (well, a spokesman) appeared to be apoplectic, claiming that it's a waste of money and that they were being frivolous at a time when others are tightening their belts. Oh get a fucking grip, please. Looking at the film, it's been cobbled from stock footage and probably didn't take more than half an hour or so to knock up.

And you know what? It was quite amusing. All it shows to me is that, somewhere in Downing Street, works someone vaguely normal. And that it really is the silly season if Conservative Central Office have nothing better to carp about.

While we're at it: Gary Glitter. Get him on the plane and bring him back here. I'm not sure there's anyone in the UK now who doesn't know Ming the Merciless's pervier brother is a kiddy-fiddler. I think it's fair to say that no one wants to be in his gang now and that he won't be getting a job as a children's entertainer any time soon. He's our problem, let us deal with him.